Hands up if you think you're good in bed. But can you make a girl come without taking your trousers off while telling her how hot she is? It's a skill womankind will thank you for over and over again.




In an extract from her new book, sexpert Siski Green gets hands on with hands and shows you how to be a touch above when it comes to manual sexterity.

"Fingering" isn't the nicest word in the sex dictionary, but to be good at all it denotes is to show a woman that you are a master of the carnal arts. And to get to that point, as the old song goes, you need hands. Women certainly love yours, so by deploying them across all areas of her body, both she and you will reap rewards.

You're kissing, but somehow she doesn't seem to be getting into it.

What she's thinking: this is a bit samey, shame he can't shake it up a little.

Where you put your hands during a kiss can make or break the experience. Sometimes it's not your mouth or tongue that send quivers down her spine, but the location of your hands. Try sliding your hand up and down the sides of her upper body.


You're feeling passionate so you grasp her backside. Hard.

What she's thinking: I'm not dough!

How can you assess whether it's the right time for a fast, furious approach? As you're kissing or touching, speed it up just a little or apply a firmer touch - if she responds by pushing back at you harder, grabbing your behind just as firmly and pressing her lips hard against yours, then she's feeling just as sexually rowdy.
But if you don't get that response, she remains soft in your arms, maybe even slows down, then she's not ready for that level of touch yet.
Take your time, keep touching her gently, maybe even pull away for a bit to tease her and get her revved up.


You've got your hand between her legs and now you're not sure where to put your fingers, so you put them inside.

What she's thinking: play with my lips.

Her clitoris isn't just that little nub you can see, it extends several centimetres inside her vagina - not down the vaginal canal where you put your penis, but around the outer lips (labia majora) in two "arms".
Stroke her lips from the bottom to the top using several fingers at once; use one moistened finger to trace inside the other lips, then inside the inner lips; use the palm of your hand on the entire lip area, rubbing gently.
Hold the entire vulva in your hand with your palm on her pubic bone and pubic hair and your fingers facing down, covering her vaginal lips. Gently massage the area as though it were a soft, over-ripe, furry peach that you'd like to squeeze just a little juice out of.


Your fingers are inside her, so you work at it with the tips of your fingers trying to get deeper because you think she'll like it.

What she's thinking: I can't feel that.

How many times does your mum have to tell you? You should only ever play in the shallows. Only the outer third of the vagina has many nerve endings, deeper inside there's virtually no sensation at all, so your efforts deep down inside won't be having all that much effect.
But you can try to stimulate her G-spot, a bundle of nerves about 5cm up the front wall of her vagina. It doesn't do it for all women, but try rubbing your finger over the area or pressing down on it gently. And don't be disappointed if it doesn't have the desired effect of helping her to orgasm - instead, focus your fingers' attention to the first inch or so of her vaginal canal where she has more sensation.


You're so excited you can barely concentrate on what you're doing.

What she's thinking: feel my breasts, feel my bum . . . feel me!

In the warm-up to penetrative sex and even the first few moments of it, you're very hands on, massaging breasts, squeezing her behind and so on, but as soon as you get close to climax, your hands turn to stone.
The trouble is, she's probably getting close to orgasm at this point and needs the extra stimulation of your hands on her breasts, her hips or her behind.
Keep caressing her body throughout sex. It lets her know you're still finding her body a turn-on, but more importantly, it will help her reach orgasm herself.


You're using your fingers to bring her to orgasm, but it doesn't seem to be doing it.

What she's thinking: use your palm.

If you're lying next to her, place your entire hand over her vulva with your fingers pointing down towards her behind. Using the heel of your hand, massage her clitoris along with the surrounding skin.
For some women this is the best route to orgasm. If you're lying in-between her legs, place your palm against her vaginal lips and massage her entire vulva with firm circular movements.
When her head goes back and her back begins to arch as she thrusts towards you, you know you've got it right.


You're happily exploring the different finger techniques.

What she's thinking: fill me up.

It's all too easy to focus on the clitoris and forget to pleasure her elsewhere. So while you're fingering her magic button, use your other hand to stimulate her vaginal lips and canal.
Slide your middle finger gently inside her as you use your fingers on her clitoris or use your thumb if it's easier. Use the same rhythm on her clitoris that you use inside her and make sure that you give her lips and outer third of her vaginal canal lots of exciting stimulation, as you should know by now these are the parts with the most nerve endings.


You've been rubbing her for ages and it doesn't seem to be working.

What she's thinking: it doesn't feel good.

The clitoris is a funny old thing - first it's too sensitive, but then, if you rub it too hard or for too long, it starts to lose sensation. This often happens if you start with a too-hefty touch, so always build up slowly.
When stimulating this love button, less really is more to start with.
Try feather-light touching with a well-lubricated finger, tracing your fingertips gently along her vaginal lips in-between. Then gradually build up the pressure, but watch how she responds to make sure you don't apply too much.
If you're being too tender, she'll push against you or use her own hand over yours to show you how much pressure she needs. Err on the side of too gentle, because too forceful could result in no orgasm at all.
Once the clitoris is desensitised, you'll have to move away completely, focus on something else like her breasts or kissing and then move back to stimulating it.


You're searching, but you can't locate her clitoris.

What she's thinking: oh, he just had it, why has he moved off it?

They vary in visibility, but locating a clitoris isn't difficult: run your fingers from the bottom of her vaginal lips, on the inside, until you get to the top where the lips join - at the very top is where you'll find the clitoris, a small nub of flesh that feels more solid than the surrounding skin.
Some people describe it as feeling like a nose - but some women will have one that feels like a big juicy blueberry, others like a small cooked pea and others like a broad bean.

More sex advice, check out the latest issue of Men's Health.