The night Leo climbed on top of me and pleaded, "Come on, baby, please", I didn't know whether to be amused or offended. Granted, we'd been drinking. And I was in his bed, wearing a T-shirt and tiny undies. But we'd been friends for a decade. I was in town to catch up, not hook up. "Get off me, you idiot," I ordered.

In the morning, a contrite Leo was bedside, breakfast tray in hand. "I am such a pig," he said. "Forgive me. But I am a man."

Man. Pig. Whatever. Leo overcame a one-time urge and he never touched me inappropriately again. Fortunately, Leo and I moved past - way past - the awkward part of a male/female friendship. We're still mates to this day.

That's right. Men and women can be friends, even without the benefits. You just need to expand the notion of what those benefits are. After all, inside information from your female friend can be put to good use. Check out the five rewards you'll reap by keeping your pants on.

Seeing things her way
A major plus of not venturing into sexual territory is that you'll receive the female version of events. I've commented on Leo's encounters with women of all types. Sound unpleasant? It's not. "Men ask questions and they get answers," observes Kathy Werking author of 'We're Just Good Friends: Women and Men in Non-Romantic Relationships'. "That's good for them."


Spilling your guts
Talking with a female friend means there's no game to distract you and little chance of embarrassment if you bring up private thoughts. We love that stuff, so share. "The literature is clear on this: women gain from male/female relationships. But, in terms of intimacy, sharing and communication, men gain so much more," reveals Don O'Meara, professor of sociology. "It's to the man's advantage."


Hanging out
She can ask you out to a movie. You can pay for dinner. No-one needs to worry about mixed motives. You don't have to be in control in a friendship relationship. It goes to the whole notion of what a friendship is and the more intimate it is, the more real and equal it has to be.


Teasing, baby
Once you're both on the same relationship page, it's okay to flirt. Just don't feel her up. Don't risk what you have for one night of fun - unless, of course, your aim is to turn your friendship into something else altogether. Besides history, I mean.

Can men and women really be friends?
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