Features

The Reality Behind Motherhood

Jan 07 04:11pm

marie claire spoke to five new mums to discover the truths and untruths of first-time motherhood.

FACT: The median age of Australian first-time mothers is 28.

"I've felt pressure from family to have babies for about nine years, but when I turned 35, friends and doctors started asking me when I was planning to fall pregnant. It was a massive decision and I had to weigh up whether I had achieved enough in my career. Being a mother is a job and I think we need more recognition and support form the government."
- Soledad Cordeaux (left), 36, has a baby son.

FACT: On average, new mothers get just 3.5 hours sleep a night.

"I think I cried every day for the first two months - mostly just because of the shock of my new life. I was extremely tired and hyper-vigilant about doing the right thing for the baby. My job as a nurse is very physically demanding, but I find being at home more stressful because it is so emotional. But, of course, it's worth it now - my baby is magnificent."
- Karren Maurer (second from left), 36, with Matilda, 8.5 months.

FACT: The average weight gain during pregnancy is 10-15 kilos, and 97 per cent of women are unhappy with their postnatal body.

"I think self-image issues are common among new mothers. I'm proud that my body was able to do this - and there are definitely more important things to consider now - but my stomach is fat and it hangs out. It does make me feel unattractive."
- Florence Kolb (second from right), 34, with Gabriel, 8 months.

What realities of motherhood took you by surprise? Share your experiences in the comments field below.

35 Comments Report Abuse

1. zanpurton - Jan 31 03:02pm

It is the amount of planning it takes to get ready to go anywhere and you can not just drop everything to go out on the spur of the moment any more. We now do a trial run on packing everything for our daughter and us into our Holden Astra (small car) before going away now. It is the only way of making sure everything fits. We are now in the process of buying a small trailer.

2. gurlscout01 - Feb 07 01:18pm

Everyone tells you, as a first mother, when your child cries, you will know what to do. For me, this took a few months. I had to get to know my child, and my child had to get to know me. When he cried, I didn't know why, and I felt inadequate and hopeless, like I wasn't getting the whole mother/child thing. After a few months, it all started to fall into place. It takes time, it's not easy, but it sure as hell is worth it.

3. c_udy - Mar 06 05:45pm

Never having a day off! No matter how sick or tired you are, this demanding (but lovely) baby is your responsibility. Sometimes I would just like to go back to the pre-baby days and blob on the couch with a really good book. I know that you can have someone help out for a while, babysit or whatever, but that is not REAL time off, like it was before you had the baby - it is just a reprieve. My little girl is almost 9 months old now and I love her more than I ever thought possible - but oh, ho

4. jocey0y0 - Mar 06 09:04pm

I found the first 3 months very difficult, especially with breastfeeding as I had all sorts of problems associated with it (until 7 months). However, there's nothing more enjoyable than seeing your baby grow and doing different things everyday. It's a full time job but a very rewarding one. I'm loving it.

5. ki1lakiwi - Mar 29 03:48pm

its great

6. sims2star2001 - Mar 29 06:56pm

I thought it was hard work when they were babies and now they are 17,16 and 13 and now its a different type of hard work, but still worth it.

7. sexy_mummi_82 - Apr 05 12:59pm

20 months after my first daughter i gave birth to twins a boy and a girl and for the first 3 months i slept on the lounge cause my son had collic and had to sleep in my arms. but i got through it thank goodness for my mum. i did a have my fiance but he was useless. it is verty rewarding watching them grow and play with each other. the twins r so different from each other and my eldest loves them and says she wants more brithers ans sisters!!

8. brisik_oy - Apr 10 08:33am

I'm glad I had my baby when I was 24. I couldn't imagine myself chasing an active toddler around the yard all day at the age of 36... My baby is 12 now and I can look back to those sleepless nights, those lonely sobs alone and say that every single bit of it was worth it.

9. brisik_oy - Apr 10 08:40am

It never fails to surprise me that as a young mother with a baby, I used to carry a large backpack containing nappies, wet wipes, a drink bottle, small toys, spare clothes, a few snacks, 2 flanels and a towel and I thought it was an acceptable fashion accessory.