All About You
Secrets of the Super-Daters
We all know someone who has a 100 per cent strike rate when it comes to meeting men. Here, three not-so-savvy friends discover what they can learn.
SERIAL SINGLE
Nicole Haddon, 26, fashion buyer
Single for: 18 months
"I've always envied how every time Amanda goes out she gets a date. She'll talk to anyone. I, on the other hand, will hide in the corner at a party, or I'll head out with the same group of friends.
"I've never asked a guy out, whereas Amanda isn't afraid to make the first move. I know I can be too fussy and should give different types of men a chance. For example, I've never been attracted to guys who are shorter than me. I admire that she doesn't over-dramatise or personalise a break-up; she just moves on to the next bloke."
SERIAL DATER
Amanda Lee, 26, radio announcer/producer
Dating mantra: "Date like a man"
"I go speed dating and to singles events, and am always meeting new men. But my real secret is a book I read when I was 19, called 'Date Like A Man' by Myreah Moore and Jodie Gould (HarperCollins, $30.95). Following the book's advice, I date more than one guy at once. You're then less likely to take a break-up personally.
"Nicole is gorgeous, but goes out too much with her gay friends. I'd also like her to take more risks. While break-ups hurt, you get wiser with every experience."
SERIAL SINGLE
Naomi Davies, 34, advertising account director
Single for: Four years
"Amanda has a spreadsheet of boyfriends. Me? I haven't had a proper date for 18 months. I lack the self-confidence needed in the current "man drought", but I'm also waiting for the right guy, not just any guy.
"I can guess why Amanda is so successful. She is intelligent, flirty and dismissive, and she backs herself 100 per cent. Before meeting her, I'd never realised that not answering calls, avoiding dates and ignoring a man's cry for attention can lead to him becoming more infatuated."
SERIAL DATER
Amanda Connor, 26, advertising executive
Dating mantra: "Stay in control"
"I always tell Naomi to get out there more. Dating isn't the purpose of being social, but is a natural side effect.
"My dating tip for Naomi is to be more independent and that self-restraint is a girl's best friend. Be coy and don't gush about how wonderful the guy is too soon. Naomi also makes the mistake of falling for men on the rebound. Most importantly, I tell her not to be a snob – while you might not be attracted to a man who initially approaches you, he might have mates that are perfect."
SERIAL SINGLE
Melanie Kershler, 31, production account manager
Single for: Seven years
"Whenever I'm out with Kylie, we always attract attention from guys, but I never do on my own. I haven't been on a date for two years. Kylie is always being asked out.
"I think her secret is that she's really outgoing and flirtatious. What I find most intriguing is how easily she attracts men using what I call her "pick-up face". It's a big grin from ear to ear, and she makes eye contact for a little longer than normal. I put up barriers and stay within my comfort zone, as it's easier than feeling vulnerable."
SERIAL DATER
Kylie Richards, 29, customer relationship manager
Dating mantra: "Make eye contact"
“When I'm out, I laugh a lot and I'll talk to anyone. My secret weapon is to make eye contact and hold it longer than necessary; everyone likes to be checked out. I once walked past a guy, told him he was cute and we dated for three years.
"Mel is oblivious to men. She always gets checked out, but never realises unless you point it out. By then, they think she isn't interested. If Mel made an effort to notice what was going on around her, she wouldn't have any problem meeting men."
Are you a serial single or serial dater? Tell us your dating tips for other women below!
Nicole and Amanda
SERIAL SINGLE
Nicole Haddon, 26, fashion buyer
Single for: 18 months
"I've always envied how every time Amanda goes out she gets a date. She'll talk to anyone. I, on the other hand, will hide in the corner at a party, or I'll head out with the same group of friends.
"I've never asked a guy out, whereas Amanda isn't afraid to make the first move. I know I can be too fussy and should give different types of men a chance. For example, I've never been attracted to guys who are shorter than me. I admire that she doesn't over-dramatise or personalise a break-up; she just moves on to the next bloke."
SERIAL DATER
Amanda Lee, 26, radio announcer/producer
Dating mantra: "Date like a man"
"I go speed dating and to singles events, and am always meeting new men. But my real secret is a book I read when I was 19, called 'Date Like A Man' by Myreah Moore and Jodie Gould (HarperCollins, $30.95). Following the book's advice, I date more than one guy at once. You're then less likely to take a break-up personally.
"Nicole is gorgeous, but goes out too much with her gay friends. I'd also like her to take more risks. While break-ups hurt, you get wiser with every experience."
Amanda and Naomi
SERIAL SINGLE
Naomi Davies, 34, advertising account director
Single for: Four years
"Amanda has a spreadsheet of boyfriends. Me? I haven't had a proper date for 18 months. I lack the self-confidence needed in the current "man drought", but I'm also waiting for the right guy, not just any guy.
"I can guess why Amanda is so successful. She is intelligent, flirty and dismissive, and she backs herself 100 per cent. Before meeting her, I'd never realised that not answering calls, avoiding dates and ignoring a man's cry for attention can lead to him becoming more infatuated."
SERIAL DATER
Amanda Connor, 26, advertising executive
Dating mantra: "Stay in control"
"I always tell Naomi to get out there more. Dating isn't the purpose of being social, but is a natural side effect.
"My dating tip for Naomi is to be more independent and that self-restraint is a girl's best friend. Be coy and don't gush about how wonderful the guy is too soon. Naomi also makes the mistake of falling for men on the rebound. Most importantly, I tell her not to be a snob – while you might not be attracted to a man who initially approaches you, he might have mates that are perfect."
Kylie and Melanie
SERIAL SINGLE
Melanie Kershler, 31, production account manager
Single for: Seven years
"Whenever I'm out with Kylie, we always attract attention from guys, but I never do on my own. I haven't been on a date for two years. Kylie is always being asked out.
"I think her secret is that she's really outgoing and flirtatious. What I find most intriguing is how easily she attracts men using what I call her "pick-up face". It's a big grin from ear to ear, and she makes eye contact for a little longer than normal. I put up barriers and stay within my comfort zone, as it's easier than feeling vulnerable."
SERIAL DATER
Kylie Richards, 29, customer relationship manager
Dating mantra: "Make eye contact"
“When I'm out, I laugh a lot and I'll talk to anyone. My secret weapon is to make eye contact and hold it longer than necessary; everyone likes to be checked out. I once walked past a guy, told him he was cute and we dated for three years.
"Mel is oblivious to men. She always gets checked out, but never realises unless you point it out. By then, they think she isn't interested. If Mel made an effort to notice what was going on around her, she wouldn't have any problem meeting men."
Are you a serial single or serial dater? Tell us your dating tips for other women below!
JOIN US
Be a part of the marie claire VIP Club for exclusive events and discounts.
Join the marie claire VIP Club
Receive news and offers by email.
YOU TELL US
Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! Pty Limited. All rights reserved.
Advertise with Us - Privacy Policy - Terms of Service - Help
most men are usless lumps, anyway.
For men it's a bit more difficult, more often than not you get shot down.
Yeah us guys get shot down way much too much in NZ. Different story overseas...girls would actually be as friendly as guys in USA. Something about kiwi culture seems to make girls very gaurded and reclusive when they go out.
Girls would buy me drinks in USA etc...how many times has a girl bought a guy a drink in NZ? Ive been here most of my life and in my experience the answer is zero.
are you in auckland now?