According to the American Psychological Association, 30-40% of women are somewhat unhappy with their appearance, while another 45% experience anxiety or depression due to dissatisfaction with their appearance. In other words, millions of women experience feelings of low self esteem and lack confidence about how they look -- and this has to affect how they feel about themselves sexually.

How can a woman feel empowered in her sexuality, attractive, and free to make good choices for herself if she feels unattractive, unappealing, and unworthy? Maybe a more constructive question is, How can we help women feel attractive and more confident about how they look?

First, don't compare yourselves to the women modeling in the glossy magazines or the starlets on the red carpet. These small, often underweight women are the exceptions, not the rule. (And I would guess that a fair amount of them experience disordered eating as a result of the pressure to be thin.)

Second, find one thing about yourself you do like and focus on that, dwell on it -- cherish that feature. Become more accustomed to those parts of yourself you do like. Write them down. Remind yourself of them. Affirm them every day.

Third, try to banish the negative behaviors that you turn to when you feel low or bad about yourself. Do you reach for food when you're feeling bad? Do you sit in front of the television with a bag of chips or a pint of ice cream? Now resist.

And fourth, when you next feel bad, make a choice to do something positive for yourself -- take a walk, read a book, call a friend. By resisting the bad choice and consciously acting on a good one, you will reinforce your self control. This builds confidence.

And confidence, Ladies, is empowering -- and sexy.